Just Call Me Mr. Wilson

OK, this is a weird post to come back into after not posting for so long, but...

I just have to vent. I don't ever, ever want kids. Ever. I know too many kids who I'd like to throw through a window. And I'm worried if I ever had some of my own around me constantly I might actually take that extra step...

I like OTHER peoples' BABIES. They're cute. And I can say hello and soak in their cuteness. And then I can leave. I have less tolerance for children of other ages. I just...AUUUGHHH!

It's difficult to explain. I get frustrated really easily around children. I have no clue how to talk to them. Being in a room alone with a kid makes me really uncomfortable for some reason, like I'm somehow supposed to entertain them. But I honestly have no idea how to communicate with kids. I don't know if I should talk one way, or the other way, or what the fuck to say to them. And I like to be left alone a lot of the time, so there's that problem, too.

Another problem is that I really was forced to grow up so quickly, having parents who were out drinking with their friends half the week, leaving Bryan and I to more or less fend for ourselves other than occasional phone calls. So growing up, I always identified more with adults (I was always the highschool kid who spent time talking to the parents at friends' parties) and I never truly felt comfortable just being in my own peer group - I was good with individual friends I things in common with, but never felt like part of my own age group.

So I have no clue how kids think or like to talk...or at least I don't REMEMBER how. Because I don't remember much about it.

I don't want kids. In truth, I'd fuck them up too much. I know I'd be a horrifying parent, and I guess I sort of deal with that by resenting kids, or something. Yay, deep-seated psychological problems!