Florence Vassy

Well, I've been listning to Chess again lately. Some day, as my ultimate tribute to Nicole, I shall obtain the rights to that script and help Tim Rice create a definitive version, both on stage and on screen. I already have a great deal of the film in my head, like all the shots and everything, to the music.

Everyone stages musicals so poorly. There's so much dynamic in the music of Chess, and to have it wasted on cheesy dance numbers that have nothing to do with anything...I really don't see it as a dance musical - there's too much plot and subtext going on, and it's more of an operetta. There are plenty of opportunities for choreography, yes, but...for instance, people fill stuff like Florence's grand solo, "Nobody's Side" with lots of nothing.

The song occurs just after someone close to her has exploited her feelings by recalling the painful secrets of her past - Doesn't anyone think it would be appropriate to show some memories bleeding into reality during that, rather than just having the chorus sit there and sing with her, looking pretty?

And seriously - fuck the Broadway version of Chess. I want to personally slap every advocator of the Broadway script who criticizes the original concept album upside the face with a splinter-filled block of wood. I have never seen such a bastardization before in my life, and it's HORRIBLE! It's the cheesiest fucking shit ever. There are moments...MOMENTS, mind you, that work...but overall, it's a horrible mutation of what could have been a great story.

No, fuckheads, the second act should NOT take place in Florence's home country.

No, Frederick should NOT win the game in the end - he should not even be playing in the second act!

And no, Florence should NOT reprise "Anthem" at the end of the show - the last song should be the final verse of "You and I" sung by Florence and Anatoly in separate places - you can do all the dialogue-y stuff between the second and final verse - of course, "The Story of Chess" will be moved to the prologue, as always, that's simply common sense.

And no, Florence should NOT have a lullaby-singing scene with an old man in a wheelchair the KGB tells her is her long-lost father. We're getting slapped in the face, here. The original idea was far subtler and much better.

And no....just NO. Shut up.

Anyway, I feel like quoting the lyrics of the finale, which is the best lost-love duet ever, and it is, so you better think so...Because my opinions are God. Not me, just my opinions.

"You and I"

ANATOLY
Knowing I want you...
Knowing I love you,
I can't explain
Why I remain
Careless about you.

FLORENCE
I've been a fool to allow
Dreams to become
Great expectations.

ANATOLY
How can I love you so much,
Yet make no move?

BOTH
I pray the days and nights,
In their endless, weary procession,
Soon overwhelm
My sad obsession...

You and I,
We've seen it all,
Chasing our heart's desire,
But we go on pretending
Stories like ours
Have happy endings.

ANATOLY
You could not give
More than you gave me.
Why should there be
Something in me
Still discontented?

FLORENCE
I won't look back anymore--
And if I do,
Just for a moment.

ANATOLY
I'll soon be happy to say,
"I knew her when..."

BOTH
But if you hear today
I'm no longer quite so devoted
To this affair,
I've been misquoted.

You and I,
We've seen it all,
Chasing our heart's desire,
But we go on pretending
Stories like ours
Have happy endings.

FLORENCE
This is an all-too-familiar scene...

ANATOLY
Hopeless reflections on what might have been!

BOTH
From all sides,
The incessant and burning question:

FLORENCE
"Bearing in mind your predicament now..."

ANATOLY
"What you did then..."

BOTH
"We're just dying to know,
Would you do it all again?"
Each day we get through
Means one less mistake
There for the making.

But they know, full well...
It's not hard to tell...
Though my heart is breaking...

I'd give the world
For that moment with you
When we thought we knew
That our love would last,
But the moment passed
With no warning, far too fast.

You and I,
We've seen it all,
Chasing our heart's desire,
But we go on pretending...

Stories like ours
Have happy endings...

The Wind and the Oceans

Okay, you want to know something really freaky? Well, here goes. And I'm not exaggerating.

I dreamt last night that I heard the voice of God.

...

Seriously, not joking. Now, I don't mean, "God told me to do this! I'm Neo Joan of Arc!" That's not what I mean.

I mean that I had a dream that I was going to meet God for some reason. And that doesn't mean I was about to meet George Burns and ask him all about womanhood. It was weird - I wasn't dead, but for some reason I was going to SEE and HEAR the creator of the universe.

Now, stop for a moment, and really THINK about the effect of this...

This does not mean I was about to meet "The Big Guy". Not some old guy who has the power to do anything he wants. That's not how my definition of "God" is.

To give you an example...let's say you were amazed by...dinosaurs, mountains, oceans, stars, gargantuan things...and you knew that in a few minutes you would see something - not JUST something but someone (a who and a what, combined) that would dwarf all these things in its size and its awesomeness...

This is just an example. But I was being taken somewhere, and I knew that I was about to meet the Ultimate Being - I was about to see the single greatest, most gargantuan (and he was going to be, in my dream, both physically and abstractly the most gargantuan thing ever), most awe-inspiring thing I have or ever will see.

I can't even describe what that feels like. It's the single most nerve-wracking thing ever. It was like a combination of excitement and fear, like moving and terrifying all at once.

But I didn't get to see him in the dream. I woke up before that. But not before I heard a voice say the following:

"I am the wind
And the oceans..."

This voice came all of a sudden, and yet I was expecting it. It's like...I knew the words were there before I heard them. But let me explain what it felt like, HEARING them...this is the REALLY REALLY freaky part...

The second I heard the voice saying those words...Okay, have you ever had one of those moments that make you gasp, and suddenly it feels like the blood drains from your body and you feel like everything stops - your breath, your heart, possibly even time itself...

That's what it felt like. It was catharsis mixed with fear. By fear, I don't mean dread or terror, I simply mean...well, for instance, lightning storms are gorgeous, but you still have a fear of them, a respect for their power.

The second I heard and processed the voice, it was like my heart literally stopped. Like a feeling of all the moments that have ever emotionally moved me, both good and bad, suddenly concentrated into my body in a single moment, spreading like liquid quickly. It felt like time stopped for the voice.

And somehow I knew that what I was hearing was only a minor REFLECTION of his real voice.

...

Okay, have I made everyone go "Uh...okay, Prophety McProph-Proph Eric...time to calm down, you're not seeing God, you're just stressed out," yet?

LOL, seriously, though. The dream didn't rattle me that much. It was just very interesting. And somehow, comforting.

Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Foot

So, I'm apparently bored to the point of cracking. Cuz look what I've been doing...yes, I've been inserting new lyrics to songs I know with the first random words that come to mind that I'm able to match the rhythm, melody and the rhyme scheme. Please note, this is NOT supposed to be clever, this is just me being really fucking weird and posting it here to take a step back and wonder what's wrong with me:

(To the tune of Guster's "Barrel of a Gun")

Four, three, two one
I’m gonna sterilize the sun
It’s time to take the trash
Out of this world!
Half past Illinois
I got a giddy biddy boy
Who likes to watch his M.A.S.H.

I’ve known an acro-bass
Who fights with donkeys in the street
They say he’s got some class
If he don’t, give him noodles

He knows a new gavotte
Jump up and free the lemonade
Truck stop and twist the plot
Wash the queen of the Quendi

Four, three, two, one
We played Parchesi and I won
We did cocaine all night
Let’s play “Funeral”
Half past Q & A
A woman wore a green beret
She had a spider bite

(to the tune of "Send in the Clowns")

Isn’t it, Mitch?
There goes a vole
Igloos and merry-go-rounds,
For Old King Cole.
Send in the cock.

There’s a new flick—
Watch it with beer—
“Churning Some Butter Tonight,”
Starring Pam Grier.
But where is the cock?
All out of stock…

What’s in this soup?
Tastes like a phage
Patti Labelle, gitchi ya!
Actors “do it” on stage.
Poor Sarah Jessica Parker,
She looks like a foot…
Watch her new show—
“Sex in the Soot”…

Blue Cream

You know what's hella smart?

Eating Lays Stax, along with slices of something that looks like real cheese but tastes dehydrated and says "Cheese food" on the label. And then washing it all down with Frostie Blue Cream Soda.

That's smart. That's GOOD for my stomach. My digestive track's gonna LOVE me, here in about half an hour.

You know, there's just NOT enough time to DO all the shit I want to do right now (get ready, here's another list):

1) Earn full-time money
2) Rehearse for BSB stuff
3) Learn lines for BSB stuff
4) Develop stuff for "Acrobat"
5) Continue writing other things
6) Watch some TV every day, y'know, RELAX
7) Play Vagrant Story, Final Fantasy 1, and about 10 other games I've been meaning to play
8) Work on my website
9) Work on The Lespral Code (my project with Meg that's been in stasis for like the past four years)
10) Compose the music to "Beauty" (after doing revisions)
11) Spend time lounging around every morning in bed with my boyfriend
12) Go on trips with Eric like we did to Chicago
13) Exercise like hell and get in shape
14) Have time every day to prepare healthy, well-rounded meals with a nice variety of nutrition
15) Study new topics, like learn more French, or even a whole new language
16) Read books AND scripts
17) Watch tons of movies
18) Have/go to parties
19) Sing karaoke
20) Take voice lessons to improve my singing (It's severely weakened over the years)

And the list goes on...
And the list goes on...
La di da di dee...
La di da di dah...

All I can say is: Let's hope I live to be like 500 years old.

I asked Meg to draw a character for me - Creole Lady Applebutter! I want to use this parodic character in our blog roleplay with fictional characters.

I hope Eric got to work some today. I feel bad that he missed her phone call yesterday - but we wanted to go to the cemetery to visit Nicole's grave. The headstone is finally up, and it's beautiful. You know, barely anyone at my work even noticed that I was gone, yesterday. Oh well. I still get stuff done around here, even if no one pays attention.

I've been re-listening to A Little Night Music...

Liaisons (sung by Mme. Armfeldt)

At the villa of the Baron de Signac,
Where I spent a somewhat infamous year...
At the villa of the Baron de Signac,
I had ladies in attendance,
Fire-opal pendants...

Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today!
Disgraceful!
What's become of them?
Some of them
Hardly pay their shoddy way--

What once was a fine champagne
Is now just an amiable hock.
What once was a villa, at least,
Is "digs".
What once was a gown with train
Is now just a simple little frock.
What once was a sumptuous feast
Is figs.
No!--No, not even figs--
Raisins!
Ah, liaisons...

Now, let me see...
Where was I?
Oh, yes...

At the palace of the Duke of Ferara,
Who was prematurely deaf but a dear...
At the palace of the Duke of Ferara,
I acquired some position
Plus a tiny Titian.

Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today!
To see them--
Indiscrimate
Women--it
Pains me more than I can say--
The lack of taste that they display!

Where is style?
Where is skill?
Where is forethought?
Where's discretion of the heart?
Where is passion in the art?
Where is craft?
With a smile
And a will,
But with more thought,
I acquired a fine chateau,
Extragantly o-
-verstaffed!

Too many people muddle sex
With mere desire,
And when emotion intervenes,
The nets descends.
It shouldn't follow to perplex,
Or worse, inspire--
It's just a pleasurable means
To a measurable end.
Why can no one comprehend?
Let us hope this lunacy's just a trend!

Now, let me see...
Where was I?
Oh, yes...

In the castle of the King of the Belgians...
(We would visit through a false chiffonier!)
In the castle of the King of the Belgians,
Who when things got rather touchy,
Deeded me a duchy.

Liaisons!
What's happened to them?
Liaisons today!
Untidy!
Take my daughter--I
Taught her! I
Did my best to point the way.
I even named her Desiree.

In a world where the kings
Are employers,
Where the amateur prevails
And delicacy fails
To pay...
In a world where the princes
Are lawyers,
What can one expect
Except to recollect
Liai... [falls asleep]

Full of Grace, Full of Grace!

Well, we all watched Pecker last night. Yay for John Waters! I just keep remembering Christina Ricci's line, sobbing and crying to the heavens, "I HATE MODERN PHOTOGRAPHY!"

It was Eric, Melanie, Chip and myself. We went down to Ashland last night. They were having Stirrup Days, which...well, yeah...small town events...basically a bunch of people standing out in the closed-off streets drinking and listening to some hillbilly band. Oh, and we ate at the FABULOUS Keno Kove...yup! That's right. I had a salad that consisted of most the yellow-white parts of iceberg lettuce, topped with a little picco de gallo (the menu called these little bits "tomato"). I had to pour on the bleu cheese dressing to feel like I was actually eating something.

But after that, we went to the Pool Party thing. My parents were helping ROC Ministries in Ashland sponsor a youth pool party to draw kids away from the beer tents, etc. They had a cookout and a "Rootbeer Keg" from the Upstream.

Anyway, I brought Mel, Chip and Eric with me. And I was very happy to see that my mom and dad both were very friendly the entire time. My mom shook hands with Eric and asked him how he was doing, etc. There was nothing awkward at all. It was nice. Very nice.

On a sidenote, Lays kettle-style chips flavored with lime and cracked black pepper...yes...yes, you will need to go beat off now, they're so tasty...

Oh, Acrobat has been postponed. I can't remember if I mentioned that in my last entry or not. Everything just got to be too much, from the conflicts to the casting to the discomfort and then my mom breaking her leg...yeah, just too much...

Currently, I am drinking Bacardi with Coke w/ Lime. Tall glass full o' ice. The world is a nice place.

I've got Act I of Arsenic and Old Lace nearly memorized, methinks. I'll be invited all my relatives to this one, as it's something they can finally identify with. On that note - I don't get people. Why, oh why, do...? You know what, never mind...Ain't worth it. I'm pretty relaxed right now.

Okay...this week, I must:

1) Mail my car title to my credit union
2) Encourage Eric to get a job so we can create a budget
3) Study my lines
4) Overcome my fear of stage combat
5) Organize my bills again, come up with a G.D. plan and STICK with it
6) Start excercising again
7) Get caught up at work

I think that's a good list. Don't you? That's right, you, Blog Audience...Blaudience? Well, whatever...

I've started playing Vagrant Story, which seems interesting. I'll definitely have to get used to the 3-D action RPG thing. But the plot is intriguing so far. It's a lot less mysticism/fantasty/sci-fi and more...feels more medieval and feudal, but with elements of fantasy thrown in, dragons, etc. Reminds me vaguely of Final Fantasy Tactics, although it has the same composer for the music, so that may affect my mindset, too.

I went for a walk today. Then I decided it's too fucking humid. I said to myself, "Walk, you suck right now" and came back. I was memorizing lines. I wish I had a "fabulous leather couch" or a "courtyard where I can take a coffee with me like a regular movie star", as per Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive.

I hope that some day, my bills are $700 or less. That'd be fabu.

Fabu.

"Hey, Louis! He stuck da metal pointy thing in his tummy!"

Prophet Eric

Okay, this is gonna sound really weird...

At some point last night, when Eric was still up and the TV was one, I started having some really weird dream. I don't remember know what the details of that dream were. All I know is that when I woke from it, I had this weird panicked feeling, and this overwhelming feeling that somehow I knew the end of the world was near.

Yes, the end of the world.

Hum dee.

No, I just know that in whatever I was dreaming, there were all these things happening that made me feel like that. I somehow recall that it wasn't me seeing things like the sky on fire or anything like that. It was like, there were all these sinister things happening in mundane lives - there were various things going on - and somehow these things deteriorated my conscious psyche, the one that is distracted by the world and is too busy with life to think about "the end", and once it deteriorated completely, I remember just this overwhelming feeling of seeing a horrible truth.

When I then woke up, I was very confused for a moment and I was rattled to the point of feeling cold in bed. A couple times after that, I kept experiencing weird moments, like the TV was on, and in a state of barely waking I'd look at it, and see faces in the TV. Not scary faces - rather, they were simply faces similar to the character of Zhaan in Farscape that we'd watched earlier than evening. But seeing the faces freaked me out, like "Oh my God, what's going on? That's not normal! The fabric of the universe is UNRAVELING!"

It was all really weird.

Here's a tip:

Don't ever try to eat more than a few pieces of a summer sausage when there's nothing else to go with it, and nothing drink. If you do, you'll wish you were dead.

This Place is a Mess

Since when did I have an alarm set for 11 in the morning? That was weird. Oh well. And why does the cable keep going out?

Well, we start the Doug/Donna stuff today, so I hope I can do this. By "this", I mean direct an intimate scene and make things comfortable so they play naturally. Gahhhh...Okay, deep breaths.

This is going to have to be a short post, as I've got to take a shower soon. I had oatmeal for breakfast. But it wasn't boring, I put strawberry jam in it. That made it interesting. Yes, so interesting that there should be a blockbuster summer action movie called Strawberry Oatmeal.

Things I've got to get done this weekend:
1) Try burning dance soundtracks
2) Get the tech stuff organized
3) Get the props organized
4) Possibly meet with Trude to make sure she has some stuff ready for Sunday evening

Well, I slept like a rock last night. Wasn't expecting that, as this is the first day I haven't seen Eric since we moved in together. I hope their trip goes well.

Okay, shower time...and possibly running over Macbeth lines...

Good Times Gonna Come...

Oh...

Help...help...help...

Casting be ick. Ick is castingness. Poo on theatre. Poo on ick. Ick poo.

Where the hell are all the actors who have done R-rated theatre and are comfortable with it??? Where are the gay men involved in theatre? Where can I find a Donna and a Doug and a Michael to match? Where have all the cowboys gone?

Seriously, if I re-title it "Fag-Play", will people audition?

We start rehearsals tonight...well, SORTA!!! Cuz guess what? A fourth of the cast has either backed out or is uncast, and another fourth won't be there till around 8.

I'm listening to music. Oh, Aqualung, take me away! My job is so stupid. Why am I stressing myself out with all this shit, when I could have interviewed for that job with Ameritrade that would have paid like $17 per hour, so that I could finally afford to live with all my debt?

AND WHY WON'T ANYONE OFFER ERIC A DECENT JOB!?!!?

America's economy is retarded for the lower-middle class. Seriously. Checking accounts fuck us over, jobs fuck us over ("You're TOO qualified..." "Oh, sorry, your college degree isn't enough qualification to answer the fucking phone...")

WE NEED TWO INCOMES, ALL YOU EMPLOYMENT ASSHOLES, AND WE NEED DAYTIME HOURS. IS THIS SO INSANELY DIFFICULT TO OFFER?!

I want to move to France. They have the whole 4-day workweek with 10 hour days. I could do that. Would be nice having a day off in the middle of the week, as well as weekends.

And WHO THE FUCK uncovered the fucking fuck-ass salad I made last night and then LEFT it fucking uncovered in the fridge? It's a good thing I noticed it this morning. But seriously, whoever did it - fuck you!

I want an avocado.

I always want an avocado.

Decisions, Decisions...

::sings::

I don't wanna cast shows,
Cuz maybe if I did,
I couldn't be a Toys R Us kid!

This casting thing is driving me nuts. Mainly because of the not-having-enough-guys. I think I may have found a solution, though, which I will not enclose here, not knowing who could read this.

You know, it's gonna be really weird if we have a play where several of the characters are gay men, and then at the nightclub scenes we have nothing but women dancers.

Anyway, other things I have to do...

1) Call my parents and grandparents...apparently, my dad's aunt Sara died yesterday...I knew Sara growing up, too. I knew her as "Silly Sara" because that's what everyone told me to call her when I was like 2 or 3. I also need to call my parents because Bear had her puppies but apparently she's having problems...

2) I need to call Trude and find out if she's ready for the first rehearsal and if she can come to the read-through.

3) I need to call Scott to find out about rehearsals, and then call other people about rehearsals.

4) I need to give Kaci tech duties, like noting all our props and coming up with the stuff we have to have that's food/consumable.

5) I need to send an e-mail to Scott, the list of all our props we borrowed

God, the list goes on...but this is all becoming pressing stuff. You know, we should have had the auditions like a few weeks ago or something, well before we start rehearsals. Oh well. No turning back now.

Today's the Day!

Well, tonight starts our auditions. I'm very excited. I know that Eric's all excited too. And Melanie's excited.........Everyone's just excited! Weeee!

Last night...went to Shakespeare on the Green, to see Antony and Cleopatra. Eh...it was okay. I still had fun, we brought picnic stuff including a whole rotisserie chicken, fresh strawberrys, spaghetti salad, two unbelievably decadent parfait desserts, and garlic bread. And to drink we brought Cream Sodas and a bottle of Wild Berry Zinfandel (I drink zinfandel, I'm so gay...).

But the performance...parts of it were good. Harris, my movement/combat professor from UNL, was Antony. I don't really care for his acting, and it bugs me saying that, cuz well, he was one of my professors, you know? Although I thought some of the shit he said once to Kris Anderzhan was way over the line, so... I don't know. I just found him two-dimensional and kind of boring as Antony.

I thought Cleopatra was interesting. Eric found her annoying, b/c he thought she should be more regal. I don't know, she behaved as I would expect that character to behave, all toying-slut-like and prima-donna-ish. I found her more interesting, at least.

The guy who was Caesar Octavius was at the auditions for The Seagull last summer. He was the one who was really funny reading as the character of Dorn, which unfortunately he was too young for. His name's Kevin something-or-other, I don't remember. Anyway, he was one of the better actors last night, or at least one of the more interesting ones.

I just don't know...I see all these paid equity actors who get cast in these parts, but...it's like I can see them being good actors for contemp. stuff but it's like their grasp on the language in Shakespeare is too... "I'm-doing-a-strong-Shakespeare-character-let's-boom-my-voice-and-laugh-like-I'm-made-of-thunder". They do the language in such a manner that it never holds my attention, and I easily find my mind wandering.

......

Good lord, I just got a phone call from someone asking if there are any eligibile parts in "Acrobat" for a 12-year-old girl! Um....no....no, no, no........I hope to God no one under 17 shows up, b/c although we gave a description, we didn't really put any "disclaimers" on it. I just don't want anyone showing up only to have to leave right away.


.....

John let me have some of his Muenster cheese last night too.

MUENSTAHHHHH!!!!!

...

Everything's about ellipses today, once again.

Anyway, we've got the scenes all picked out and copied (many thanks to Kaci!) and I highlighted them last time for the various parts (to make it easier for a cold reading), and...well....here we go!

Whoopie!