Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Foot

So, I'm apparently bored to the point of cracking. Cuz look what I've been doing...yes, I've been inserting new lyrics to songs I know with the first random words that come to mind that I'm able to match the rhythm, melody and the rhyme scheme. Please note, this is NOT supposed to be clever, this is just me being really fucking weird and posting it here to take a step back and wonder what's wrong with me:

(To the tune of Guster's "Barrel of a Gun")

Four, three, two one
I’m gonna sterilize the sun
It’s time to take the trash
Out of this world!
Half past Illinois
I got a giddy biddy boy
Who likes to watch his M.A.S.H.

I’ve known an acro-bass
Who fights with donkeys in the street
They say he’s got some class
If he don’t, give him noodles

He knows a new gavotte
Jump up and free the lemonade
Truck stop and twist the plot
Wash the queen of the Quendi

Four, three, two, one
We played Parchesi and I won
We did cocaine all night
Let’s play “Funeral”
Half past Q & A
A woman wore a green beret
She had a spider bite

(to the tune of "Send in the Clowns")

Isn’t it, Mitch?
There goes a vole
Igloos and merry-go-rounds,
For Old King Cole.
Send in the cock.

There’s a new flick—
Watch it with beer—
“Churning Some Butter Tonight,”
Starring Pam Grier.
But where is the cock?
All out of stock…

What’s in this soup?
Tastes like a phage
Patti Labelle, gitchi ya!
Actors “do it” on stage.
Poor Sarah Jessica Parker,
She looks like a foot…
Watch her new show—
“Sex in the Soot”…