Up/Down

I'm seriously starting to wonder if I have bipolar disorder... I keep crashing from energetic states to total sadness and this feeling of isolation. A lot. It's pretty much happening on a daily basis now.

I feel like screaming, often. Or smashing something.

And I drink when I'm bored. And I'm bored a lot.

That feeling I used to get during my college depressive years, of feeling like I'm looking through a window, watching life and people pass by...it's hit me harder than I can ever rememeber before.

Feeling totally adrift. No idea where my compass or even my raft are, anymore.

And then, the next day I go out and party and sing karaoke and enjoy life intensely...and then I crash back to this again.

So tired of this.