My Blog Entry, Starring Dakota Fanning as the Letter A!

So, yay! I got offered a job at Pacific Life in downtown, Omaha. It's through a staffing agency, and the position is temp-to-hire for 90 days before I become full-time. My starting wage is $13 an hour, which is only slightly less than I was currently making. But still, STARTING wage...yay!

Oh, and the best part is that they are NOT a customer service center - they're a processing center. So I don't have to take stupid incoming phone calls anymore! Huzzah, sailor! Huzzah!

I hope that Eric feels okay about his monologues and his grad school auditions. He's really feeling kind of futile about the whole thing, and I hope he realizes he's got a lot more talent than he thinks he does.

Tomorrow is my last day at Ameritas. Christine is taking me out to lunch, so that should be fun.

Chicago in 4 days, woohoo!

Saturday was Coley's birthday, or would have been her 26th birthday. Wanda, Beverly, Larry, Eric and I all went out to the cemetery to sing happy birthday and bring flowers. Bev asked me to say a pray. I was fine until then - I said the prayer, but I think the openness and honesty of talking to God always cuts deeper than anything else. I started to cry then, but it wasn't bad or anything. But everyone there misses her. And I was very happy that Eric came with me.

Nicole, wherever you are, I wish you could meet my boyfriend. He knows all about you. And I know you'd love him. I'm always thinking of you, sweetie.

Anyway, I think that's all I got, for now.

I have Follies stuck in my head:

One more kiss before we part
One more kiss and farewell
Never shall we meet again
Just a kiss and then
We break the spell

One more kiss to melt the heart
One more glimpse of the past
One more souvenir of bliss
Knowing well that this
One must be the last

Dreams are a sweet mistake
All dreamers must awake
On then with the dance
No backward glance
Or my heart will break
Never look back
Never look back

One more kiss before we part
Not with tears or a sigh
All things beautiful must die

Now that our love is done
Lover give me one
More kiss
And goodbye

UNGH! UNGH!

Yes. Those were the words coined by my boyfriend, Eric, to describe what a particular sex scene in a movie was NOT like. "They're naked, but I mean they're all like UNGH! UNGH!"

Well, I had an interview today, and it went pretty well! They were impressed with my experience in processing and data entry skills and think I'd be a great candidate for a job at their Pacific Life account, for temp-to-hire. I'd be starting at somewhere between $11 and $13.50 an hour, which is only slightly less than what I'm currently making. So yay!

The dilemma remains - checking account? What do I do, hmmm? I still have to pay of my Ameritas Credit Union loan, but I don't really want a permanent checking account there because well...to make deposits, I'd have to go to Lincoln. Which I, obviously, want to avoid. So no. No, no, no.

Maybe I should look into checking elsewhere, and post-haste.

I'm feeling pretty good. Despite my car and my debts, I'm getting a new job, I'm going to be in Omaha more often, and I get to be around my friends and Eric more. And rehearsals. And I'm looking forward to Chicago in a week and a half, woot!

There are so many details to work out right now. Transitions are always the worst. I just need to "get over the hill" and make it to the goal.

And I hope I can easily coordinate work/The Seagull rehearsals/Don's movie/time with boyfriend.

"Boyfriend..." You know, I never envisioned myself saying that word. I was so cynical about dating for such a long time. But...I don't know. It's like someone saw past me and was able to pull the spurned, wounded romantic out of his protective shell again.

That actually reminds me of something Don said once about gay male relationships.

"DON: What the hell is with all this 'partner' bullshit? Why can't we just say the word - 'boyfriend'? ..............Except for when you turn 50, because then it just sounds silly - when you turn 50, it becomes 'fuckbuddy'."

And Munich was an incredible movie. And I enjoyed Underworld: Evolution even though I'd never seen the first one.

And then there's The Squid and the Whale....yeah....young adolescent boys masturbating in public and wiping their jizz on the library shelves and peoples' lockers...Did I mention the movie was weird? And I hated Jeff Daniels' character, wanted to punch him in the face? It was well-acted, don't get me wrong, but...jizzwiping...

Eric and I are going to make a horror flick, titled "Jizzwiper", starring Dakota Fanning as the jizz! We actually kept saying "starring Dakota Fanning" after all the previews and stuff we saw, when we movie-hopped on Saturday. And the "Charlotte's Web" web movie will be re-titled, "The Dakota-Fanning-Sure-Loves-Her-Pig Show".

Anyway, I'm gonna get the hell out of this crazy workplace. I'm gonna miss some of my co-workers, but...yeah, it's time to bail. This operations department is slooooowly goin' under. Abandon ship.

I'll end with awesome dialogue exchange as can only be captured by the eloquent P.T. Anderson in the film "Magnolia":

DONNIE: (drunk) I'm sick.
THURSTON: (pleasant) Stay that way!
DONNIE: I'm sick and I'm in love.
THURSTON: You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
DONNIE : That's right. That's the FIRST time you've been right! I CONFUSE THE TWO AND I DON'T CARE!
(Donnie looks up at Brad the Bartender)
DONNIE: Hey...HEY!
(Brad looks, startled. Donnie stands up, backs away from the bar as he talks)

DONNIE: I love you. I love you and I'm sick. (looking down) I'll talk to you...I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm geting corrective oral surgery tomorrow. For my teeth. I love you, Brad. Brad the Bartender. (beat, crying) You wanna love me back? I'll be good to you. I'll be god damn good for you. And I won't be mad if you don't know who said what. I won't punish you if you get the answer wrong. I can teach and tell you--
THURSTON: Brad, honey, you have a special secret crush over here I think, don't take him too lovely - he might get hurt--
DONNIE: You mind your own business!!
THURSTON: Gently, son!
DONNIE: Brad, I know you don't love me now--
THURSTON: "It's a dangerous thing to confuse children with angels."
DONNIE: (pointing at the TV gameshow) And you wanna know the common element for the entire group, like he asks...I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you, 'cause I had that question. I had that same question. Carbon. In pencil led, it's in the form of graphite and in coal, it's all mixed up with other impurities and in the diamond it's in hard form.
(Jimmy Gator impersonation)
"Well...all we were asking for was the common element, Donnie, but thank you for all that unnecessary knowledge! Ah, kids! Full of useless knowledge, eh?" Thank you, thank you!
(beat)
And the book says: "We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us."
(To Thurston)
And...NO...IT IS NOT DANGEROUS TO CONFUSE CHILDREN WITH ANGELS!
(Donnie stumbles out of the bar to the bathroom)

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?"

So much has happened in the past...crap, how long ago was it I did the last post? I think it's been at least a week and a half.

I put in my resignation at work. I'm going to work up in Omaha, instead. The question now is: Where? I'm putting in applications, etc. right now. I'm sure I'll find something. And if not, I have no qualms doing the checkout lanes at Shut Up and Save, or K-mapart again. At least temporarily.

According to the radio, the best medicine for a cold is a hot, steamy love session. Actually, the radio mentioned it and then Eric confirmed it, told me he'd heard it before. I wonder if that's a hint...Actually, I had a cold this weekend. I still do. I probably gave it to him. I feel bad.

I also feel bad because I keep dragging him out to Mic's karaoke, and although it's fun and all, he has a hard time around cigarette smoke and that place is like SATURATED smoke. And he never gets to sing, and he's always tired and has to leave early. But he keeps showing up anyway, to see me, when I'm there with other friends.

Actually, I want to meet some of his friends, because...well, so far, I really haven't, other than briefly meeting all his friends at Dana College, in passing. Although, that reminds me, I must call Kris Anderzhon so Eric and I can go do something with Kris and his girlfriend (whom Eric went to Dana with).

Eric and Melanie are in a show together, yay! He's Lysander and she's Titania in Midsummer Nights Dream. =( I wish I were in it with them, but I'm already doing a show at the same time at BSB. They're going to talk about me behind my back now, yup...my boyfriend and Melanie are gonna become girlfriends and gossip about me.

Yay! I go to Chicago with Eric for his grad school auditions in a couple more weeks. I just hope nothing bad happens before then, financially, so I have enough money to go.

And I'm being all disgusting cute and couple-ish, because I do nothing all week but pout about how I miss Eric. But my car is fixed again (for now), which means I can visit him more often!

I've been listening to a new CD lately - "Hopes and Fears" by Keane. I like their sound - I love piano, and I love the lead singer's voice. And there's something about the song "Somewhere Only We Know" that evokes strong emotion in me. It's one of those emotions I can't grasp or describe, kind of intangible. I love it when music does that to me. I'll sit there and listen to a song over and over without understanding why or what I'm feeling. It's like a drug.

Finally, I'm hoping my schedule for "The Seagull" rehearsals work out OK with Don's film shooting schedule. I challenge! Ha-HA!

"It's a Car Wash, Ladies and Gentlemen!"

Well, this weekend was pretty much crap. Except for Sunday night. And I'll get to that.

So my car breaks down on the way home from work Friday, in Lincoln, after I've already arranged for Don to pick me up at my house so he and Eric and I can go have a drink and see a movie. I have to call Eric and let him know it's a no-go, and then I have to have one of my friends E-MAIL Don since he's at work and it's nearly impossible to reach him by phone, and he has no cell phone, and he is leaving straight from work to go to my house.

I spend most of the weekend stuck at home, and my mom is drinking quite a bit throughout the weekend. Which is always fun.

However, on Sunday, at least, Eric came over during the evening, and my parents were both gone till 10, so Eric and I watched "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". I love that movie. And if you're wondering, that's what the quote in my title for this post is from.

And Melanie, if you're reading this (and I know you are), you have to watch "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". If for no other reason than to watch John Cameron Mitchell in gorgeous costuming and rock out to awesome music. Seriously, though, it's a wonderful movie, and it's the perfect combination of hilarious and sad.

Just to give you an idea, the main character was a young man who grew up in East Berlin, in Communist Germany who wanted to get out of there, and he met an American G.I. who fell for him and then convinced him to get a sex change so that he could legally marry him and get him across the border. The sex change was botched up, leaving him neither male or female. Then, the G.I. proceeds to move with him to Kansas and after a while leaves his "wife" for another man, on the very day that the Berlin Wall fell.

I know that sounds depressing, but that's only the character background, and actually that's not quite what the movie is ABOUT, and most of the movie is actually really funny, as the character puts a cynical and witty spin on everything. And John Cameron Mitchell has a gorgeous singing voice.

Anyway, work is almost done, thank goodness. This day has been so hazy and slow.

I'm gonna leave with quotes from Hedwig:

"Tommy, can you hear me?! From this milkless tit, you SUCKED the very business we call show!"

"The road is my home! My home, the road! And when I think about all the people I've come upon in my travels, I can't help but think about all the people who've come upon me."

"Yeah, long story short...when I woke up from the operation, I was bleeding down there! I was bleeding from a gash between my legs. My first days as a woman, already it's that time of the month!"

"You know, the sun is in your eyes,
And hurricanes and rain
And black and cloudy skies.
You're running up and down that hill.
You turn it on and off at will.
There's nothing here to thrill
Or bring you down.
And as you've got no other choice,
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town."

Fantasmic

Wow, talk about a New Years Eve...

So, Eric and I go to Mel Walters' party on the night before New Years Eve, and Melanie and John and everybody and their name twin is there. Seriously, there was Eric and myself, and there were 3 Melanies, 2 Ryans and 2 Johns. It was almost disgusting. Almost. And I discovered what Eric is like when he's had a few drinks - very, shall we say, frisky. He was being incredibly playful the whole night. He seemed to have an affinity for my Axe spray. God, I feel so trendy admitting I wear Axe. Oh well. Whatever.

I won't go into detail, but some "stuff" happened later that night. Like in the middle of the night, it was rather spontaneous.

New Years Eve itself was every bit as crazy as last year, only more enjoyable. Eric and I first went to the Kurzes party, where I brought a beaujolais, in honor of my character Joseph from "My Three Angels". David Mainelli brought one too. I had about 4 or 5 glasses of it, so it's a good thing Eric was driving and had not had a single drink yet. And the chili that Cathy made was interesting. She put cinammon in it. It gave it a sweet flavor that was nice. And I seriously wonder what everyone thought when Eric and I arrived together, more or less sat with one another the whole time and then left together - not that I think anyone would be weirded out by it, but it would just be funny, since none of them had any idea we were even hanging out to begin with, even as friends.

So then...the REAL New Years Eve party begins...at Don and Misty's. Eric and I arrive late, and Melanie tells us we have to "catch up" on shots.

Curse you, Melanie, Mistress of Alcoholic Face Contortions.

After, of my own accord, I do two shots of this sour stuff (it had kind of a fruity flavor), Melanie proceeds to make Eric and I (and others) do THREE shots right off the bat:

1. Cuervo
2. Peach Schnapps
3. Jagermeister

Yeah...yeah...I think you see where this is going.

Then midnight comes, and there's nasty-ass champagne. This is AFTER the shots (and jungle juice and Smirnof drinks).

Then the legendary "death shot" where Melanie decides it'll be "fun" to mix everything at Don and Misty's bar and make us drink a shot of it.

Eric and I passed out on a couch some time around 2 in the morning.

But it was nice when, at about 6, I woke up because I could feel him shifting around - he was turning over to face me and clinging to me because he was cold. I was awake long enough to know what was going on and just sort of wrapped my arms around him tighter to stop him from shivering.

The next morning, they dressed Eric up (asleep) in a yellow feathered tiara and took a picture with me standing over him like "Wow, talk about a good time!" Then we went to IHOP. There was hair-and-curd creamer (don't ask).

Anycrud, this week's been okay. Other than my car being a piece of shite. And not just any shite. No, this is a brick of baked monkey-with-indigestion shite that's been sitting in a damp place for days. That's my car. Seriously, though, I'm sick of having to ask Eric to come pick me up and drive me around on weekends. =( I feel like an ass.

I'm currently playing Xenogears, which is the game Eric got me for Christmas. I never thought they could cram THAT MUCH PLOT into a few hours of game time. Seriously, I'm all freaked out like, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!" I've never had a game where the story kept me so consistently hooked.

Anyway, I need to go drive my stupid brick of shite home. Let's hope it gets all the way without incident.

Oh, the word of the day is "anercourse".

I laughed till I turned into a hyena when I heard that word.