Ignorance is Blistered

I'm going to be angsty for a moment.

Why is it that I feel ignored in most situations? I'm usually the person who has to WORK to get a word in edgewise when multiple-person conversations are going on, and when I'm in the middle of a point, other people constantly interrupt me without batting an eye.

Lately, there have been a couple of other things. For instance, I usually get ignored when it comes to costuming shit for theatre. The only person who doesn't ignore me is Char, but for instance people trying to find me shoes will just find something that "works" even though it's either not appropriate or doesn't REALLY fit.

But...okay, this kind of hurt, a little...

The article in the World Herald came out today about the actors doing rep for Macbeth and Arsenic...

Of the people interviewed, I was the ONLY ONE they did NOT quote or even MENTION.

Maybe I didn't say anything too memorable, but...still...you know, I never get to play lead roles...this is like the hugest thing I've ever done, for Arsenic, and...I have a funny feeling I will once again be upstaged by the shadow of Macbeth and the other characters in Arsenic (not their fault, I think they're all wonderful and deserve praise for how great they're all doing). I just get the weird feeling I'll be swept under the carpet again, and I'm freaked out that I'm going to be the "mixed feelings" aspect of Arsenic.

That interview, though...maybe I did just reiterate what others were saying, but...I don't know how to answer questions, really. I can easily write intricate lyrics and poetic words, but the moment it comes to on-the-spot speaking, it all goes flying out the door.

Still, given the fact that I'm finally doing a lead role, doing something this big and getting a chance to do that interview.....it really hurt. It's not that I want praise or fans. I just would like the kind of respect and regard that others are given.

I mean, if I didn't say anything memorable, I suppose...but they didn't even MENTION me. Quoted or not.

Well...whatever...

It's like with Acrobat - there were people who just didn't take the project seriously. It's not that they weren't coming to rehearsals or half-assing things, it's just I got this vibe of "Oh, this isn't a REAL play, it's just for fun" from a few people.

I don't know...it's been a crummy day. I can't even focus to get crap done at work.

.....

I'm still deliberating on this a lot. But...I'm half-considering giving up acting after this season. Not theatre - just acting. I want to continue in playwriting and possibly directing. But it's only a half-consideration that I have now and then, at this point.