Freaky New Levels of Consciousness

So, I woke up startled and shouting again the other night, and I experienced a really weird phenomenon in conscious/subconscious levels blurring...

I woke up bolting upright and shouting and Eric immediately woke up and frantically said, "What is it?!" and suddenly, I had a grasp on the train of thought that had induced the state of panic and desperation. I knew exactly what led to it and exactly what I was feeling. And I immediately felt an urgent need to tell Eric, like it was very important and I didn't want to lose the words...

Except the words weren't there. I was about to start speaking to Eric but realized I couldn't wrap my mind around the concepts going through my head and put them into words. I wanted to start speaking quickly, but I was silent, as I realized that what I was about to say to him was absolute gibberish. The thoughts weren't gibberish, but my conscious state hadn't fully regained the ability to form thoughts into the right words, and so if I had started talking it would have come out as nonsense, you know, "Me no, it's all the rock fish, and unicorns head mustn't, no, no" etc., or some such similar garbage.

So I sat there for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to possibly put these thoughts into words, but also trying to consciously fully wake up and gain my ability to speak again. And by the time I was able to form words once more, the grasp on the thoughts was lost. Vanished, like a dream you forget quickly after waking. The weirdest part of all was that it seriously FELT like one affected the other - the regaining of conscious speech somehow buried the subconscious train of thought and made it impossible to remember.

My sleep transitions are all fucked to shit. I've fucking had moments where I can FEEL myself starting to lose consciousness - I don't mean I'm falling asleep, I mean my mind is self-aware and somehow KNOWS the moment when it's starting to shut down, and so I freak out and wake up b/c it's an alien feeling that should not BE there.

Anyway, how's that for a long-time-no-blog post?